Trusting Love…One More Time
In the early parts of 2024 I almost gave up on a dream that I’ve wanted longer than I could remember. Since I was a child I’ve always had the dream of being a mother and a wife (ironically I’ve always said it in that order and that’s exactly how it happened). In the spring of last year I decided to resolve that it just wouldn’t happen for me and resolved to accept that I had a really great life and maybe that came at the price of my 1 true dream. That I would be okay with Kayla being my only child and that I would aim to ensure our lives were as great as they could be despite a husband (and father for Kayla) not being in the cards for us, maybe ever. It was a sad reality but I just couldn’t see any tangible proof that it would ever work out for me…until it did.
I’m writing this to share because I know there are other people who were told to focus on themselves, love themselves, and live your life and “eventually” love will find you. As if your desire for romantic love meant somehow those other factors weren’t already in place. Being told by people who have romantic love that it’s not a necessary part of life, I hear you and I get it. It’s frustrating to be made to feel that your expression of a desire for romantic love means that you don’t love yourself enough. As if we are not designed to be relational humans and a vast majority of us were called to be married by God Himself.
It took a lot of courage to trust the possibility of love and even developed a scarcity mindset once my partner came into my life. Feeling like I didn’t want to lose him not that the dream has arrived, afraid that I would wake up from the dream one day. Truthfully, it takes intentional effort and a lot of guidance and support, but I must say it’s worth the work! When I look back at my lists of the man I wanted in my life, it blows my mind to realize he is exactly the man I said I wanted in my life and for that I’m in awe. Beyond that, he didn’t need to lose me in order to see my value. He walked in, showed his interest (consistently), and shows up every single day.
To the girls who are struggling to believe love will ever find you, I pray that you experience your dream come true. There were some things that I did to prepare myself for the love that I wanted, and we’ll discuss next week. But let this be the sign you may be looking for that it can and will happen for you, too!