Will Work For Love…
As a Life Coach, I have to believe that any area in your life can be improved if you have the right strategy (and the discipline) to do better. I have a growth mindset and I recognize that if there is an area where you chronically struggle, something is inherently wrong. However, because I have a growth mindset that means while I acknowledge that something is wrong, that also means that it can be fixed. We aren’t stuck with any particular results in our given lives and can be intentional about doing better moving forward. Between Fall 2022 through the remainder of 2023, I worked diligently to ensure every area of my life was heading in the direction I wanted. I was redefining every part of my life and being intentional about it all…except romantic love.
When I walked into 2024, I realized that romantic love was the only real void in my life. So I decided to be intentional about going after creating a life that welcomed what I wanted. Here’s what I did to prepare for a very real difference in my love life:
Ensured I was truly ready - I cleaned up every other area of my life first and gained confirmation from my therapist that I was truly ready to date
I got really clear (and specific) about what my person - Having it written down allowed me to confirm in an unbiased manner if someone was a fit. Also, drafting this while no one was in the picture helped me ensure it was genuinely who I wanted (not just a description of the current interest)
Hired a coach - I hired a dating coach to walk me through new approaches to dating and challenge my mindset around love
Date them all sis - In the early stages of dating I got intentional about casting my net wide and not rushing to limit my choices
Slow to hire and quick to fire - I took my time in identifying someone I really could build a life with, but was very quick about releasing anyone who wasn’t a good fit
I embraced the receive mode - I’m naturally a giver, but I waited to see their actions over an extended period of time and stopped giving situationships boyfriend treatment. This also allowed me to see what they organically did to pursue me (or not) and used that as a measuring tool to determine alignment.
Checked with my accountability - I gave my therapist and 2 best friends permission to be all up in my business and be honest about what they saw (or didn’t see)
I hope this helps someone find love in 2025, because it’s truly worth every bit of the work. Just remember, faith without works is dead!